The Grand Tour

In honor of Throwback Thursday and the big adventure I have coming up, I thought I’d take the opportunity to talk about my own Grand Tour.  Note: I just started reading Madonna of the Sleeping Cars and am revisiting my love of anything Edith Wharton so the theme ‘The Grand Tour’, which denotes a sweeping tour of Europe as a rite of passage for upper-crust people circa 1890(ish), seems appropriate.  Except in my case, it’s not 1890, I’m not upper crust, and I have no upcoming passage necessitating a rite.  Nonetheless, I’m about to embark on a month long adventure through Europe and thought I’d revisit the past before I go.

I’ll be traveling to London, Vienna, Prague, Istanbul, and Barcelona this summer.  Mostly to visit friends/family but also revisit myself.  These past two years have been rough and what with being on LOA while I finish school, I figured I’d take advantage of the perks of online learning and skip town for a month.  In an odd piece of symmetry, I arrive in London on the exact same day that I did back in 1999.  I’m looking forward to lots of time to journal, say ‘Yes to All’, and remembering what it feels like to be an adventurer. But before I go, let me take you on a journey….

Picture this: The year is 1999.  My mom, step-dad, step-brother, and myself pile into a plane and head to London for a month of epic family togetherness.  It’s a miracle we all survived but aside from that, it was my first time to realize that the world is huge and those things you read about in books?  Yeah, they are real.

I present to you: A photo album from that trip.  Maps courtesy of Microsoft Encarta ’95.  Because, back then, when we weren’t walking to school barefoot in the snow uphill both ways, we were getting our information from an Ecarta CD-ROM.  Enjoy!

 

Europe! (in 1999)

I can only pray I have better outfits this time around.

And then to Austria!

Pre-EU border crossing. We were on our way to Germany but were still technically in Austria (I think).

Ahhh…flat Sprite out of a bier stein.

And then Switzerland!

Encarta ’95 strikes again.

I still have this hat. (No, I won’t wear it. You’re welcome.)

Out hotel in Lauterbrunnen. Home of the accordion-enthusiast innkeeper and his dance-party starting wife. (and lots of cats) In a word, HEAVEN.

(There were more countries but I won’t be revisiting those this time around.)

Now, close your eyes and picture 2001.  Britney Spears has never been married. Y2K has come and gone. White eyeliner is here to stay.  (thank god, no)  I had the opportunity to travel to Spain and France the summer between high school and college so, duh, I went.  It was my first time to Barcelona and I was hooked.  Thankfully, my Spanish as awesome and I’d learned how to control my curly hair.

My first Pride parade!

Omg food.

On that same trip, I got to visit my uncle who lived in Paris at the time.  It really was alone time as the rest of my group went home after finishing our time in Spain.  It was a magical time which included meeting a handsome frenchman.  It was all very platonic but he took me around and we drank champagne, walked the streets by lamplight, and I was thoroughly over frat parties before I’d even started college.  Keystone Light cannot compete with french champagne sipped delicately in a Parisian jazz club.  Again, It’s a Small World After All because not too long ago, I heard said frenchman on NPR here in Seattle.  He’s become some big shot EU financial analyst and was talking about Greece and the impending Euro doom.  Love my life.

Aforementioned jazz club. Champagne not pictured.

(jazz nerd)

Oh, and I get to see this guy in Barcelona!

Burning Man, 2014.

I’m super thankful that I get to go back; on my own and little wiser.  I’m excited to see my in-laws (and cause mayhem with my mother-in-law) but, again, I’m most excited about rediscovering a part of me that’s been locked away for too long. Fluvial fluvial fluvial.  I’ll keep this blog up as a way to beam thoughts, love, and photos home.

And with that, aufweidersen!

Baby Fluvial!

Feeling the raw…

A few moments ago, I posted the following on Facebook in response to a Kickstarter pitched posted by a friend of mine:

“I’ve struggled with loving my physical body for many years and it’s such a nuanced experience.  On the one hand, without it, I wouldn’t exist.  On the other, it experiences so much emotional pain.  The way I treat it is directly linked to my emotional state. So, for me, the goal is not to accept my physical flaws, but rather to nurture my spirit so I don’t take it out on my body.  I’m in favor of anything that will help people feel happier with the body they’re in but I feel these movements and platitudes often miss the real point.  It’s so complicated.”

The Kickstarter was raising money for a documentary film aimed at helping women embrace their bodies and not be so critical.  Of course, I applaud these efforts and am pro anything that results in a net increase of happiness, but, as stated in my post, I personally find these efforts a bit hollow.  I am grateful to be part of a community that embraces bodies of all types (although there is skewed favor towards those deemed ‘beautiful’ by societal standards) and yet I find it very difficult to make peace with my body.  Through lots of thought over the years, I’ve come to realize that it’s not my physical body that I struggle with, it’s the feeling that I’m not worth love and understanding and connection and happiness because of who I AM.

Logically, this makes no sense.  Any of it.  But the struggle is not rooted in the physical realm.  It’s rooted in emotion.  How dare I think I’m not worthy of any of the good human experiences simply because of who I am?  And yet, sometimes, I do.  And then I fulfill my own prophecies by crying in the privacy of my own bathroom over a social interaction gone awry and thinking ‘Well, I’m just not worth it.  Better get used to it.”  IT’S RIDICULOUS.

Until we find the magic bullet to rebuild neural nets and remove the physical root cause of depression and its merry band of travelers, there has to be a better way to nurture our spirits.  Which is what I gingerly focus on.  I find that when my spirit is happy, I’m more likely to love my physical body from the inside out.  It’s not that I have any less cellulite, I just don’t care about it (as much).  But if I exercise with the sole intention of getting fit, that’s when the issues come in.  I go way off the deep end with calorie counting, discipline, and self-loathing when I can’t meet my own unrealistic expectations.  It’s almost as if I have to do the spiritual work (like yoga!) without any pressure to physically change.  Otherwise, it’s all over.  This is the reason I had to stop Crossfit.  Way too much pressure on myself and I was going a little insane.

One major boost in the spiritual happiness quotient is the addition of a puppy into our little family!  You can’t be sad or feel purposeless or unloved when you see this face:

Pure love and adoration!  (Plus, she’s the ultimate side-kick in public because everyone wants to snuggle a puppy.)  Working with her has had amazing unintentional side effects.  When we’re practicing walks and totally in sync, it’s this indescribable feeling!  Or when she crawls in your lap and kisses your face…gah, NO WORDS!

Another thing I’ve started practicing is meditation and chakra chanting.  I meditate with mantras and breathing because I’m not able to do anything more at this point but it certainly helps.  But even then, sometimes I’ll stop myself from doing the exercises because I have these terrible little words inside saying ‘You don’t deserve the happiness so you might as well just not meditate.’  I’m at a 40% success rate in conquering those feelings in the moment.  Improving every day.

This was a winding post so I’ll summarize:  In my eyes, your self-loathing emotions are not YOU.  They’re a programming error.  Having the ‘perfect’ body won’t make your life amazing.  (see Candice Russel’s post on that topic) And ‘Love your body’ platitudes are insulting in their simplistic view of the issue.

I wish I had answers.  I don’t but I have a lot of experience in seeing what works.  I guess all I can say is: your physical body is the vessel through which you experience life both physically and emotionally.  Until we can upload our minds to computers and experience life via avatars (a la Nexus by Ramez Naam), this is all we’ve got.  Your body wants to be around for a while.  It will give you 2nd, 3rd, and 27th chances (usually).  Be kind to your body and spirit if for no other reason than to see what’s going to happen tomorrow.  And contact me if you need a cheerleader. 🙂

Better with Time…

I’ve told this story to a few friends but I love it so much that I need to shout it to all the Internet.  It concerns….wedding china.

You see, many years ago, I fell in love with a china pattern.  Kate Spade June Lane to be specific.  I fell in love with it in college WAY before I met Mr. Fluvial and filed it under the ‘Someday….’ category.  Whenever I’d go get linens or small kitchen items, I’d always take a quick moment to visit the china and, yup, I just kept loving it.

Flash to 2010.  Mr. Fluvial and I are engaged (well, legally married but you know…) and contemplating the idea and composition of a registry.  I was REALLY stressed with wedding plans and the beginnings of starting a really intense relationship with another person (Mr. Fluvial…I love marriage but it’s a big deal and requires much tending) and for whatever reason, I didn’t want to be That Girl who pestered her fiancee about china patterns.  Social pressure: it’s a real thing!

Anyway, so we’re in the department store armed with the scanning gun and the consultant releases us into the wild…right smack dab in the middle of the fine china section.  Without skipping a beat, Mr. Fluvial heads straight for June Lane and says ‘This is really nice.  Do we want to register for china?’  I was dumbfounded and ecstatic.  Of all the patterns, he chose the one I’d love for years.

We ended up receiving an entire set from my mother-in-law on Christmas morning and suddenly, my mind was buzzing with dinner party plans.

We we we so excited.

Let me say this: everything tastes better on fine china.  I don’t care if it’s frozen pizza or homemade whathaveyou that took you 10 hours to make; it just tastes better when served on pretty dishes.  We use our china as our every day dishes (hurrah for being dishwasher safe) and, with time, they’re starting to show age.  Little bits of paint have rubbed off over time which is sad BUT, I had a thought:

OMG we’ve been married long enough for our china to start showing wear and tear.  Same thing with the towels and other linens we received as gifts.  They are all starting to look a little worn which, oddly, makes me warm in the heart.

Nothing super profound but there ya go.  Warm worn hugs to all of you.

The Benefit of Snowflake Diets

Alternate Title: How Being a Part-time Vegan Made My Marriage Even More Awesome. 

Ok calm down.  a) My marriage with Mr. Fluvial was and continues to be awesome.  It’s just become more awesomer for reasons I’ll be describing below.  b) We’re not hard-core vegans.  But what if we were?  What’s it to you?   Anyway.

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Gluten-free continues to be the new black. (Is it the old black now?)  Everywhere you look, someone is turning gluten-free.  Allergies are rampant.  People are varying degrees of vegetarian/vegan.  New Year/New Cleanse Diet.  Etc. I lump all these into a category I like to call ‘Snowflake Diets’.  They add to your own personal sense of identity and make you special…like a snowflake!  Mr. Fluvial and I have been snowflakes for a while now due to our being vegetarian at home (I refuse to call myself a veggie because I know that I’ll consume meat even if on an infrequent basis but Mr. Fluvial is 100% vegetarian and has been for 20 years) but a powerful conversation with dear friends over dinner had us questioning our consumption of animal products like milk, eggs, and cheese.  She brought up questions of production and process and, honestly, once you know things…you can’t un-know them.  You can choose to ignore them (or practice certain gratitude rituals and bring awareness to your choice) but you still can’t un-know them no matter how hard you try.

Mr. Fluvial and I marinated on what we’d heard (which came from a primary source and was well-researched by us too) and kinda sat there like ‘Huh.  Well, we can’t un-know it.  What should we do?’  And so, we’ve embarked on a ‘Vegan at Home’ journey.

We have a few rules:  

1. Don’t be obnoxious about it.

2. Outside the house…don’t be obnoxious about it (seriously).  If someone is serving eggs, just eat them (and revel in their deliciousness!!).  No one likes an obnoxious vegan (or gluten-free, or paleo, or……)

3.  Keep your protein up.

I have a few exceptions: 1. Kefir.  I love it.  It’s a super food.  I will not give it up.  2. Cheese on pizza.  I’ve not adjusted to vegan cheese and, honestly, some things are sacred.  Pizza is one of them.  It will not be tampered with.

So, we’re about 2 weeks into it and I’ll just say this: I feel AWESOME.  I always knew dairy was inflammatory but I ignored it citing ‘Annoying Snowflakes blah blah’.  Hmm…well, maybe they had a point because I’ve noticed a significant reduction in my general achiness and joint pain (wait, aren’t I too young for all that?!).  I reserve the right to claim ‘Placebo!!!’ but I’ve noticed a difference.  Other happy health stuff too which I won’t go into.  But, all around, yay!

But really, the biggest benefit has been in the emotional space, specifically, between Mr. Fluvial and I.  And this is where I defend Snowflake Diets:

Snowflake Diets require effort.  Granted, going from vegetarian to vegan is not as much of a stretch as omnivore -> vegan but still, effort is required.  And suddenly, we were in it together.  What dairy-free milk tastes best? Well, we can taste-test the almond, coconut, rice, and soy milk that’s hanging out in our fridge. Does Earth Balance compare to butter?  We can try it on toast together!  

Plus, what we’re doing has been an excuse to cook more.  Going out to eat is a pain when you’re trying to do the vegan thing so if it’s just the two of us, we opt to stay in.  Which means we’re eating dinner together more often.  This leads to bonding.  Plus, with all the leftovers that we portion out for lunches, we go through the day remembering our awesome dinner conversation maybe more intimately than if we’d just gone out and bought our lunch. 

See where I’m going with this?  

Snowflake Diets can have many more benefits just above the physical.  Of course, if you’re simply replacing your favorite non-vegan or glutenous treats with heavily processed convenience alternatives, you’re missing the point.  So, I’ll be making our own seitan fresh (I can’t wrap my head around processed meat substitutes.  The squig me out.) and using apple sauce as an egg-replacer instead of the chemical alternatives, etc.

And now onto some recipes and ingredients we’ve been using a lot lately.  We are still in the discovery phase so please let us know if you have any favorites we haven’t thought of yet!

Breakfast:  I went out and bought a smaller croc-pot so we could make hot breakfast cereals with the greatest of ease. Throw a timer on there and you’re good to go.  Also, please notice the salt lamp in the photo below.  That’s how you know we’re real hippies.

1/4 quinoa + 1/4 steel cut oats + 2 cups milk of your choice + frozen fruit. Cook 5 hours on low.

Butter Tofu:  I made this recipe with chicken over the holidays and enjoyed it thoroughly.  This is super easy to convert to vegan.  Simply replace the butter with Earth Balance, the heavy whipping cream with soy creamer, and add tofu instead of chicken.  EASY.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/saras-secrets/butter-chickenindian-chicken-in-tomato-cream-sauce-recipe/index.html

Vegan Caesar Salad: I brought this to a meeting last week and everyone loved it!  Ok, truth, it doesn’t taste exactly like Caesar Salad but Snowflake Diets require adjusting your expectations.  It was still awesome.  Would do business with again.  Plus, it has quinoa in it and what Snowflake doesn’t like quinoa?!

Quinoa Caesar Salad

Trader Joe’s Coconut Milk: This is by far my favorite of the milk substitutes we’ve tried so far.  Almond being the runner up.  I still refer to soy milk as ‘Bean Milk’ so, obviously, I’m not quite there yet.  Maybe someday. Oh, and all the vanilla flavored milks…..nasty.  Just don’t.  Gross.

Tastes like a vacation!

Spirulina:  Let’s talk about protein, shall we?  When I went mainly veggie, I was shocked at how much protein was contained in the non-meaty things I already ate so I didn’t really worry too much about my protein intake.  Well, you cut out eggs and suddenly..where’d the protein go?  Mr. Fluvial has introduced me to spirulina and, again in the vein of adjusting expectations, I was open to it.  If you drink it straight with water, you will feel as if you’ve mowed your lawn with your own mouth.  But when blended into smoothies (mango is my favorite!) it’s not so bad. Plus, 62% amino acid (ie: protein) content can’t be beat. Here’s a quick academic overview: http://umm.edu/health/medical/altmed/supplement/spirulina

All your green drink are belong to spirulina.

And now for resources!  Some of you may be thinking ‘Going vegan is HAAARRDDD!’  Well yes. So is learning to ride a bike.  Or playing the piano.  Or balancing a spoon on your nose.  But here’s the thing, Mr. Fluvial and I were shocked at how vegan-friendly modern urban environments are nowadays.  All it takes is awareness.  This isn’t the 1950’s and, with the acceptance of Snowflakes, vegan stuff is readily available.  To that end, I’ve been a big fan of Isa Chandra Moskowitz for many years, even before I knew Mr. Fluvial.  Her book ‘Vegan Cupcakes Take Over The World!’ is so well-worn and kitchen tested that I can’t really bring myself to make any other cupcakes than hers.  Another book, ‘Vegan With a Vengeance’ (picture below) is packed with vegan deliciousness and is a must-read for vegan-curious folk.   Her website also provides lots of inspiration and research: http://www.theppk.com/

Nom.

So fluffy!!

And that’s it!  That was an incredibly long post with a very short thesis: Snowflakes Diets, when properly executed, may lead to increased emotional happiness via opportunities for bonding with loved ones through a shared mission.  

Hugs and fall on my Snowflake brethren!  

Fluvial Gone Global

One of my favorite parts of blogging is checking the stats and seeing what parts of the world are reading my words.  The map below shows all location stats for 2013:

 

So cool!

So, hello to my friends in Argentina, Brazil, South Africa, Australia, Tanzania, India, Sweden, Serbia, and beyond!  May the new year bring you all joy, peace, and prosperity wherever you may be.

A girl walks into a cafe….

So, I had lunch with Rosie the Riveter yesterday.  The conversation was unexpected and quite profound so I thought I’d retell the details below.  Enjoy!

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It’s been wild and crazy in Fluvial world, as always, and yesterday was more of the same.  I was travelling between work locations and needed to pick up lunches for a team of vendors so after a quick Yelp check, I settled on a sandwich shop boasting homemade bread and tasty soup.  I walked in, ordered the lunches, and proceeded to check my calendar to prep for the insanely busy afternoon ahead.  I then heard someone say “Sweetie, come sit here with me and talk.”  I looked up and saw that it was a lady and a gentleman probably in their 80s and when I looked up, the lady again motioned for me to come over.  

(Pause: Seattle can be a super passive aggressive town and we have a reputation for avoiding interactions with strangers whenever possible.)

Not being one for social conformity, I decided to go over and chat.  The conversation got pretty deep pretty fast and went something like this:

Lady: “I like your coat!  All the pockets!  Back before the war, we didn’t have any choices.”

Me: “Oh thank you! Yes, I’m grateful for the choices we have today”

Lady: “Do you have children?”

Me; “No, not yet.  Maybe next year.”

Lady: “But you’re married, right?”

Me: “Yes.  You?”

Lady: “Oh good.  My husband and I have been married for 67 years!!  We have 5 children and they’ve all grown up to be people we really like.  They fight over who gets to take care of us and we just love them so much.  You know, I was a newlywed before The Pill so I didn’t have the choices you have today.  I had 13 pregnancies but only have 5 children.  All the others died at 7 months while I was pregnant.  When you lose a baby that way, it hurts just as much as it would if they died at 1 year of age.”

Woah.  I was so grateful for her honesty and openness because it’s true, for all the political vitriol spewed about reproductive choice, it’s easy to forget the personal stories about families like hers.  This woman delivered 8 (EIGHT!!!) still born babies and looked me straight in the eye and told me that she’s grateful that women now have a choice about when to have children.  That’s powerful.

She then told me how she met her husband which went something like this:  During WW II, she built C-47s and would hide notes in the plane to give the soldiers something fun to discover while in-flight.  Turns out, her husband was a paratrooper and ended up flying in one of the planes she helped to build.  He read the notes and realized he grew up in the same town as the author.  Flash to a few years later, and the two meet at church! In her words “At that point, I had to marry him.”  🙂

We talked about her children a little more and how much she loves them.  How they all grew up to be “…people we like” and their involvement with charitable organizations and causes.

At this point, my order has been ready for a while and is getting cold and I realize that I’m late for my meeting.  So, I reluctantly told her that I needed to leave.  When I asked her name, she told her real name but asked that I call her by her (incredibly awesome) nickname.    

And with that, I returned to work.  A few takeaways:

1.  It’s awesome that she felt no fear in asking a total stranger to come over and chat with her.

2. Local involvement.  She and her husband had been coming to the same cafe for years.  She told me that the current owner came here for Laos and had trained with the original owner to learn how to make everything on the menu and continues to bake things the way they’ve always been baked for years.  

3. Gratitude for progress.  It was the part about her being grateful for today’s reproductive choices that gave me pause.  She’s right.  I am so lucky to be able to choose my pregnancies and, for the most part, it’s also my choice to end them should the need arise.  Having a woman in her 80s remind me of this was pretty powerful. 

4. Happy Spouse -> Happy House.  She also opened up about her husband’s struggle with mental illness (we covered a lot of ground in 20 minutes) before the days of compassionate mental health care and, again, I was struck by the love and practicality she brought to her analysis.  They loved each other and just made it work.  You don’t stay married for 67 years by accident and I was blown away by her humor and vulnerability.

5. NICKNAMES!  This is not the first time a woman ‘of a certain age’ has given me her nickname in response to the question ‘What’s your name’.  While I’m going to withhold her name/nickname for the sake of anonymity, trust me, it was awesome.  Another lady once told me “My real name is sldfjsldf but when I’m naughty, my husband calls me Darla!”  (I don’t remember her real name because ‘Darla’ was the only person I met that night).  I need a nickname.  Seriously.

So yes, when asking if you should go talk to sweet elderly people in a random cafe, the answer is always yes.

 

The Very Merry Housewife_Dinner Party!

I’m starting a new series of posts titled ‘The Very Merry Housewife’ which is going to be all about kicking ass domestically.  Mostly things like brutal truth about recipe win/loss ratios and how to throw dinner parties ‘like a boss’ (still trying to decide if I like that term).  In this edition, my spring dinner party for 6!

I recently read a dazzling blog post over at The Kitchn about a vegetarian spring-time dinner for 6 and made no secret that I planned to lift the entire menu and try it out on a few willing participants. And so I did! I made the same menu twice for two different groups and reactions were overwhelmingly positive both times. So, I’m going to talk about the recipes but, more importantly, discuss the timing and prep required to pull an event like this off while still being able to have fun.

Appetizers:

Rosemary and Chipotle Spiced Nuts Ok, I used paprika instead of chipotle spice because I too lazy to run around looking for that spice. The nuts turned out fine. No one died. Carry on. If I’ve learned one thing in cooking, it’s not to stress too much about particular spices. In baking, you don’t want to sub baking powder for baking soda but when it comes to non-specific spices, no stress. Just use what’s readily available. Also, nuts tend to be expensive but the recipe makes plenty for your party and snacks for later.

Cream Cheese and Arugula Toast Bits Another modification here: I did not use the mini toasts she refers to in the recipe. Instead, I got a skinny baguette, toasted the slices under the broiler, and carried on with the recipe as noted. I ended up with a lot more than I needed so the extra made a nice snack in subsequent days.

Here’s a picture of the appetizer scene at Chez Fluvial (aka ‘Radiance’):

Main Course

Creamy Watercress Soup (with lemon-goatcheese dumplings)
This. Soup. Is. Awesome. I’ve made the soup four times now and will likely be making it again soon. It’s very easy, tastes incredible and deserves the categorization of ‘Naughty & Nice’ due to the fact that it has both heavy cream (naughty) and a whole pound of watercress (nice). The recipe calls for lemon-goatcheese dumplings but, while very tasty, you end up with way more dumplings than you could possibly eat and it just adds mess and time to your day. Low ROI on those dumplings so I opted to omit them for the party. As you’ll see in my timing section later, I made the soup ahead of time and kept it warm in the crock pot. Such a very merry housewife thing to do! Picture below:

Roasted Potatoes, Radishes, and Fennel with Lemon Brown Butter Sauce I’m kicking myself for not getting a picture of these pretty veggies pre-roasting! They were gorgeous with the pink of the radish, the purple of the potatoes, and scent of fennel making it all come together. Roast these guys about 10 minutes longer than the recipe calls for if you want them crunchy (my preferred method).

Baked Ricotta with Lemon, Garlic, and Chives This recipe was such a winner. The warm ricotta with zesty lemon flavor was delightful especially when paired with rosemary bread. Make extra because it’ll be gone fast.

Dessert

Dessert was creme brulee (as posted about previously) but I made Roasted Strawberries to go on top. The recipe has goat cheese and puff pastry but I just liked the idea of roasted strawberries on smooth cream. Also, these strawberries go excellent over pancakes, ice cream, etc. 16 ounces of fresh strawberries reduces to about 1.5 cups once cooking is complete.

Logistics

When you’re planning a multi-course dinner party, planning is your friend. Take the time to read each recipe thoroughly and make a project plan accommodating for cooking time and the need to share oven space. Make as many things ahead as possible! Here’s the plan that worked for me:

To be clear, starting at 4pm gave me about 30 minutes of extra time that I didn’t need. This menu safely takes about 3 hours if you’re efficient and have two ovens. I recommend making the nuts, strawberries, and creme brulee ahead of time just to take stress out of your immediate pre-dinner prep.

And one final photo: the table!

So that’s it! A spring time dinner party for 6. ‘Twas delicious and what’s better than giving the gift of homemade food to your friends?

Crème Brûlée: Ooo la la!

Hi again! Per my earlier post, I made crème brûlée as a way of breaking in our new kitchen because, really, you should make something sweet for your first creation in a new kitchen. Good energy all around.

Crème brûlée can seem intimidating but it really isn’t. The key is to GO SLOWLY. When adding the eggs, they really mean it when they say to add a little at a time and stir frequently. Otherwise, cold egg yolks + boiling cream = decadent scrambled eggs. Awesome but not exactly what we were going for. If you’re going for luscious, decadent, sexy sexy custard, this is the recipe to try. And don’t be shy with the vanilla bean…add a little more to make it extra mwah.

Recipe courtesy of Alton Brown:  http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/creme-brulee-recipe/index.html

Oh, another thing of note: have you all discovered vanilla bean paste? Umm..it’s awesome. Looks like this:

(photo courtesy of Amazon)

It’s a paste containing the cherished insides of the vanilla bean. Per the label, 1 tbsp of the paste = the goods from 1 vanilla bean. It’s pricey but again, if you have it in your kitchen, you’re likely to find excuses to use it and vanilla beans, for whatever reason, are too complicated to work with when I’m feeling lazy but really want custard. So, if you’re able, splurge and add this to your pantry.

Oh! And vanilla sugar…it’s great too! We brought ours back from Austria (well now…that sounds schmancy) but I believe it’s pretty easy to make yourself. I’ll research and get back to you.

Quick note about the blow torch: while possible to get the crisp sugar cap via sugar under a broiler, it’s just better to bust out the pyro. I snagged one in the clearance bin at Bed, Bath, & Beyond but found out later that smoke shops sell them too. I thought that was odd but Mr. Fluvial said that food grade torches also serve to facilitate crack cocaine delivery. The more you know kids..the more you know. I did wonder why the shop owner was particularly nosey about my need for butane.

Anyway, here’s the final product:

Change the conversation.

Hello Fluvial Fans,

Been a while, eh?  Life keeps flowing here at Chez Fluvial and I can’t tell you how excited I am for spring.  Spring has historically been the time when my mood dips the most (odd, right?) but this season, I’ve been blessed with feelings of excitement and joy rather than the blues.  Hurrah! (I also was hit with a nasty case of S.A.D. in deep winter so maybe my body just got sick of being sick.)

Winter is a great time to reflect.  What’s working?  What’s not?  Any stories about yourself or the world that need a rewrite?  Are you happy?  Do you have full experiences?  These are the questions that come through my head and when a thought pops up, I do my best to sit with it and answer honestly for myself.  Both Mr. Fluvial and I are ambitious and passionate about our careers and we both feel that our career (and life) goals are more likely to be accomplished if we are living a present life.  As in being present.  Feeling the feelings.  Having the hard conversations and being open to growth.  One of the less pleasant impacts of this kind of emotional honesty (for me, at least) is an increased awareness and sensitivity to anything other than supportive language both in every day life but also in the larger social context.  Sarcasm becomes more pronounced and irritating and, on a larger scale, I’ve become especially sensitive to racism, sexism, and other unproductive ‘isms.  Of course, the Ohio rape trials haven’t helped and have placed my brain squarely on the target of ‘Change the conversation’.  

What do I mean by ‘Change the conversation’?  The amount of victim-blaming and sorrow over the ‘ruined lives’ of the teenage rapists is astonishing and I can’t believe that in 2013, this is where we are at as a culture.  Seriously.  On the positive side, there’s also the increasingly louder talk of not just teaching our girls how to not get raped but also..teaching our boys not to rape in the first place.  All of this is good and I’m glad that we’re finally talking about the root cause of rape and other sexual violence (hint: it’s not because a girl drank too much or wore a low cut top).  But even while we’re talking openly about sexual violence and a cultural shift towards a society where women can walk outside and not fear the stranger walking too closely behind her, I keep hearing hateful language towards women usually focusing on insults of gender.  How is this helpful?  Can’t we change the conversation?

Most recently (as in, an hour ago), I read a thread on Facebook centering on Facebook COO Sheryl Sanderg and the authors dislike of her.  The author’s opinion is neither here nor there but one comment really shocked me: “Is that the FB twat?”  Again I ask: how is that helpful?  How does that comment help to rid this culture of sexual violence?  

Comments like that are made ALL THE TIME and it’s infuriating.  Especially infuriating when they come from people who should really know better. (for the record, I do not know the individual who made that comment so I can’t speak to his awareness of the crass nature of his words.)  

Let’s change the conversation, shall we?  Let’s be pro-happiness.  Instead of using hateful, catty, unproductive words, let’s lift each other up.  I’m not perfect…like, seriously, but I do know how it feels to be bullied, sexually wounded, and insecure.  So why would I contribute to those feelings in another woman?  Or human for that matter.

I challenge you to change 1 conversation today.  Lift someone up when you were about to put them down (even if it wasn’t to their face).  Feel real emotion.  I’d like to think that as conversations change and demeaning insulting and otherwise damaging language is weeded out of our collective lexicon (specifically towards women), we may inch closer to a safer world.

For more information about conversation starters on this topic specifically, check out King County Sexual Assault Resource Center’s ‘100 Conversations’ campaign here: http://www.100conversations.org/  The goal of the program is to “…promote respect, consent, and health relationships both on and off-line.”  Couldn’t have said it better myself. 🙂

Now hear this…

Warning:  I’m angry.  This post will be (mostly) an angry rant but, true to Fluvial form, I’ll do my best to convey emotion without stooping to low levels and will attempt to end on a positive note.

Let me tell you a story…all of which is true….

Today, I happened to sit next to two elderly people at lunch.  I began to dig into my caprese melt and was trying to get NetFlix to load on my phone (to enjoy some lunch time Gossip Girl, of course) and while I fought with the connection, I was startled to hear the following (doing my best to paraphrase):

‘It’s ridiculous that we have to take this course every two years just to be a troop leader.  It’s all those liars.  Because of them, we have to get retrained.  Such a waste.  You know, I’ve been with the Boy Scouts for a long time and I’ve NEVER seen or heard of anyone abusing children.  These kids are too young to know what sex is so how do they know about pedophilia?!  They just want attention.”

Not.  Joking.  As I felt my outrage and anger build, I wasn’t given a time to recover because then came this:

“Can you believe that Medicare is requiring us to report if we got a flu shot and where?  It’s conspiracy.”

A few seconds later, there was this:

“Now, I’ve seen a few good lady-pilots but I don’t know about on the ground combat.  What are you going to do?  That’s Women’s Lib for ya.”

As he spoke, his (female) companion listened half interested and didn’t say anything and, in total, this ‘conversation’ lasted less than 5 minutes.   Actually, it probably went on longer but I was so disgusted and didn’t want to lose my job for yelling at people so I got up and moved to a table across the room.

Now hear this sir:  Your anger and hatred does not mask your intense fear of a changing world.  I’m on to you.  But, if I may, point out a flaw in your logic regarding pedophilia:  You may never have seen it but, hey, I’ve never seen a panda and I know they exist.  Also, you work in a place that’s supposed to HEAL people.  I sincerely hope you’re on duty when a  5 year old male rape survivor is brought in.  It could bring some perspective to your life.

The other stuff…sigh.    You may have been too old to appreciate this song the first time it came around but I’d like to play it again for you just in case:

I am sorry that you’re angry.  I feel empathy for you.  But your hate has no place in this world anymore.  It is my hope that your heart will soften or, at the very least, you’ll learn some manners and not subject non-consenting people to your rants.

Sincerely,

Fluvial