Weddings: It’s not YOUR day

Hello Faithful Fluvial fans!  I’m writing this post from the other side of the past 2 months and wow, so much has happened.  Mr. Fluvial are now thrice married and upon returning from our third and final wedding celebration in Romania, remarked on how we would be putting a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on our front door in an effort reclaim some much needed peace, quiet, and togetherness.

Upon looking back, it’s amazing to me how much traditional weddings are NOT about the couple but instead are about various familiar entities merging together and going through rights of passage as a GROUP and, hopefully, emerging happier and more fulfilled because of it.  Out of our three weddings, I would say that our intimate legal ceremony was the most ‘us’.  We had only a handful of friends present, we were outside in one of our favorite spots, my best friend officiated, and we signed our papers on the back of a car.  Afterwards, we all went out for a delicious dessert at a schmancy restaurant and that was it.  Calm, quiet, reverent, and totally us.

That’s not to say that our other two weddings weren’t enjoyable but there was SO much pressure to make them perfect.  With all that money we were spending, I wanted it to be amazing and lovely.  Both were amazing and lovely but if I had one regret it would be not hiring a coordinator.  Things will inevitably go wrong and when they do, it’s best to pay someone who’s NOT in your family to take care of it so everyone else can enjoy the day.  Please, spare yourself wedding day heartache and hire a planner.

Our third wedding, in Romania, was more of a cultural exercise rather than a wedding for us.  Mr. Fluvial and I had no idea what was going to happen and had nearly zero say in the whole shebang which, upon hearing that, most people say ‘Wow! That sounds great!  I wish my wedding was like that!’ but when you must travel to a foreign country, don’t speak the language, and have multiple friends and family all of whom have made the journey with a certain set of expectations…this can be stressful.  My personal experience was marred by the fact that I picked up a parasite and was ridiculously ill for the second portion of the trip (picture this:  the vomiting started AT the wedding…projectile vomit and wedding dresses are an unlikely combo but I made it work and no one was the wiser).  I’m still recovering from the parasite but am on the mend and WOW the pictures look amazing!!!  Here are a few pictures from our three weddings:

Private legal ceremony.

May wedding in Seattle.

My Big Fat Hungarian Wedding.

Each wedding had their own amazing elements to them.  The private ceremony was wonderful because there was no pressure.  I was marrying the love of my life and could say everything I wanted to say without thinking about religious convention or offending anyone.  The May wedding was wonderful in that it was the wedding that I’d always wanted to plan.  I mean, who wouldn’t want to have a giant party with all their friends in fancy clothes where you get to plan every detail?  That wasn’t sarcastic.  I actually wanted to do that.  The Romania wedding was an entirely different beast.  It was amazing to experience a wedding culture different than your own AS THE BRIDE.  The ceremony took place in an old church and, given my background, it was nice to finally have our union grounded in the tradition I was familiar with.  It felt respectful and I love every minute of it (even saying my vows in Hungarian!).

Now that the chaos is over and my dresses are safely tucked away in a closet, I decided that my life was too serene and so I started grad school about a month ago!  Yes, I was taking the GRE, writing entrance essays, and making my way through the maze of applications all while planning weddings.  I am crazy.  I started my MBA in Health Leadership about a month and so far, so good.  I’m looking forward to hard skills being taught and a little less of the touchy-feely introspection but I’ve been told to ‘trust the process’ and so I’m doing just that.  Personally, I prefer ‘Don’t fight the tiger’ but whatever mantra works.

In other change up news, I accepted a position as a consultant with the same firm as Mr. Fluvial!  There’s a whole other post about this so I’ll save my thoughts for later.

That’s it for now but I’ll have more soon.  Farewell.

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~ by fluvial on September 19, 2011.

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