Newlywed Dreaming

Now that Mr. Fluvial and I are officially hitched, let the dreaming begin in earnest! One of the things we’ve been talking about for a while is moving to Europe temporarily (1-2 years) and again, now that we’re hitched, we’re starting to think about it new ways (as in…should we push for it?)

Home?

Mr. Fluvial grew up there and has the bonus of speaking FIVE languages so I know he’d find a job and fine no matter what. Moi? Well…that’s a different story. I spent the majority of my language learning energy getting to know Spanish quite well which isn’t really going to serve me too well if we move to Austria. The only things I know how to say in German are ‘1 large beer, please’ ‘I love you’ and ‘Washing machine’. So Mr. Fluvial is a little nervous that I’ll ge there and be homesick, lonely, and bored.

Hi, does he know me at all?? Living abroad has been a dream of mine since I was a kid and one of the most attractive things about Mr. Fluvial when we were first dating was his European connections so of course I’d want to seize an opportunity to live there! German? Who needs it? Ok, well I would. So, the plan we’ve worked out (which is subject to change, of course) is that I would be a lady of leisure who would take German classes and get plugged in to some sort of volunteer work. Maybe I could tutor English? Maybe I could get plugged in to the local tango scene? Maybe I could lead tours for thinking people?

Or maybe, I could take a stab at writing.

(that last one…well, that would be a bit more of a risk)

And there’s the idea of children. If we’re planning to move there in 2-3 years, we’ll be right at the age where kids should start to arrive. Do we deliver in Europe? Do we raise an infant there? Would my mother kill me? 🙂

All interesting questions but Mr. Fluvial and I are trying to decide what’s right for us. If I get into grad school (fingers crossed!), we will be grounded in Seattle for at least 2 years. If I don’t…well, then we’ll have more options! No matter what happens, if we move to Europe, it looks like my career will have to take a back seat to his. Plus, you throw in kids and there’s 5 years of my life that are already spoken for. If I DID get into grad-school, I would feel terrible if I got that education and spent all that money, only to get pregnant and stay home for a few years.

The feminist in me cringes when I think that I might be the kind of girl to take a back seat career-wise and rely on my husband (!) for financial support but hey, I’d get my dream of living in Europe out of it so that seems like a fair trade.

This is a rambling post that is supposed to be loosely centered on the theme of compromise. We give up things to be in relationships but hopefully, the things we give up are less than what we gain as a result of sacrifice.

So..what kind of compromises have you had to make?

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~ by fluvial on May 31, 2011.

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