Monday Music: Wedding Edition
Mr. Fluvial and I are t-minus 12 days to wedding go-time and it’s all crazy up in these parts but I can’t tell you how delightful it is to check things off our list and start to get excited. At this point, we just have to jump on the ‘wedding train’ and be content with controlled chaos. Such is my life!
A lovely side effect of weddings is the collective bliss and happiness they throw out into the world. We have been inundated with unexpected emails full of well wishes, friends and family flying half way around the world to celebrate with us, unexpectedly personal gifts (we finally have a citrus squeezer! (hardly know her)) and general well wishes. A work friend surprised me today with her great-grandmother’s wedding handkerchief complete with a written history of all the weddings that it had been a part of in her family. I was in shock! She is a work friend and here she is giving me a part of her family history. Weddings are amazing because they really show you who your friends are…for better or worse.
However, it’s only lately been all about puppies and rainbows. Honestly, wedding planning has been a bear and not a fun one at that. Being from a divorced home, there are all these family dynamics that HAVE to be addressed in order for things to go smoothly. One can choose to not be defined by their past or family but sometimes, one must make temporary peace with things for the greater good.
I have to say though, that if a child has to go through the insanity that is growing up with divorced parents, I made out pretty well. I have two sets of wonderful loving step parents and I feel that, in a way, my wedding is closing the final chapter of my parent’s divorce. I’m starting a family of my own now so there’s no more time, room, or sympathy for drama from 25 years ago. But the wedding has also made one thing painfully obvious: my father was not around much when I young.
Fear not! This story is happy! My dad and I have a wonderful relationship now that is a little over 10 years in the making but the truth is, he wasn’t around as much as either of us would have liked. It makes no difference going into the reasons why. Facts are facts. But when planning a wedding, I was suddenly faced with the void of memories that seem almost expected from brides. I was never ‘daddy’s little girl’ (that’s creepy anyhow), we didn’t have bedtime prayers, he wasn’t there when I was picked up for Prom night. None of that. So how on earth was I to choose a father/daughter dance song?
Let it be said, that most father/daughter dance songs are CREEPY. There are so many quasi incestuous songs out there, the best example I’ve seen is a bride dancing to ‘Father Figure’ with her dad. Gross. Beyond.
On the other side, a lot of the songs are sappy and sentimental and describe a childhood I never had. So I was a bit stuck. I care about my dad a lot but there’s a giant 15 year void where he simply wasn’t around in the way that the fairytale childhood says dads should be (not for lack of trying…it’s just circumstances). Well, I think I’ve found the perfect song:
It’s the way I feel about my dad. It feels right. He likes it. It’s all good.
Short end to a long story but that’s all I’ve got for you, Fluvial fans.
Blessings and love. Go squeeze someone important to you. Now.