Love advice that doesn’t suck.
I didn’t think I’d see the day but MSN relationship advice doesn’t suck right now! Here are some choice cuts from the latest edition. Also, be sure to call your dad on Sunday!
Love Lessons from Dad
Beware the b-word
“My father was very adamant about me never being with a guy who didn’t respect women. (I wasn’t even allowed to watch Married With Children growing up, because of the way men on the show treat women.) He also can’t stand the word b*tch, since it’s degrading. This has opened up my eyes to the kind of guys who use the term: Even when guys use it jokingly, it shows a lack of respect, and I now avoid these men.”
—Erika Shantz, New York, NY
Give him a break
“My dad — a theologian and older parent — taught me that if a guy is brave enough to ask you out, and he doesn’t seem like a total con, he deserves one date, even if it’s just coffee and a walk around the block.”
—Sarah Cunningham, New York, NY
Be a kiss-up
“When I was in high school, my dad told me to bring flowers to my date’s mother when I was picking a girl up for the first time. It’s a little cheesy, but it worked. I still bring a little something the first time I visit a girl’s parents’ home.”
—John Wiseman, Tulsa, OK
(Ok, this one is a little weird. I think my mom would dislike the guy MORE if he did this but maybe I’m wrong)
Follow the golden rule
“My dad told me to never be too available; instead, make him work to get someone as great as me.”
—Elizabeth Harp, Baltimore, MD
Hang in there
“My dad told me that dating is like fishing: You have to cast your line several times before you’ll get a bite. That helps me from getting discouraged.”
—Johnny Palmer, Burlington, VT
“My dad taught me that I should date a man with an education and one who has more experience than I have—someone who has seen the world and has already dated plenty of women. The reason? That way, when he finds you, he’ll know he’s got a good catch!”
—Anne Meesriyong, DeKalb, IL
Watch out for weasels
“My dad told me that, ‘If a guy offers to show you the view from his apartment or his incredible fish tank, there likely isn’t either.’ He also instilled in me that I shouldn’t waste my time on someone who doesn’t open the door for me or offer to pay on the first date.”
—Lindsay Craig, Atlanta, GA
Don’t work at love
“My father once told me, ‘A relationship should never be a lot of work.’ When people would kvetch about their ‘work-intensive’ relationships, my father would shake his head and say, ‘My relationship has never been work.’ I suspect that if one is, I should run the other way.”
—Lillie Marshall, Boston, MA
Have escape money
“My dad tells me to make sure that I always have money in my pocket when I’m going on a date. He’s old-school and believes in a woman being treated like a queen and expects nothing short of that for his daughters. But for those times when you can’t stand to stay out with a dud any longer, he says you have to be able to pay for your meal — and a cab ride if you need it — so you can escape.”
—Suzan Barnett, Meriden, CT
(This one is SO KEY!! I’m a fan of the ‘wallet reach’ where you make the reach for the wallet and if the guy is a gentleman, he’ll say ‘Oh no, I’ll get it’ but you should always be prepared to pay your half just in case. Plus, if the guy is a total cad, you’ll want to pay your half so you dont’ feel obligated to spend any more time with him than necessary. Which reminds me of two stories…..)
1. My senior year of college, I wasn’t really dating anyone and I had a lot on my plate academically. I ended up going out with a sociology grad student who seemed nice and what the hell, it was just dinner. So we went out. And the poor guy would not shut up. Like, wouldn’t be quiet. At all. I couldn’t get a word in, he wasn’t paying attention to the fact that I was totally bored, the waiter was getting annoyed, everything. We finally order and get our food and my neck starts to hurt from all the nodding I’d done.
Then things got weird. He said he had to use the restroom right before the waiter brought the bill. And then he was gone for a LOOONNNG time. The waiter brought the check and without any provocation from me said “Do you need me to give you a rescue from this guy? We’ve all been watching and feel sorry for you”. I nearly spit out my water. So hilarious and nice. I can’t remember if I gave him my number just in case or not but I ended up not needing the rescue.
The guy came back and was quiet. But the check was sitting on the table. He didn’t make a move but also didn’t talk. It was awkward so finally I grabbed it and went up to the bar to pay. I came back and he started talking again and we left. He even leaned in for a kiss when we parted ways!! I did the dodge and cover and avoided contact and that was that. But the best part was, after he left, I went BACK to the restaurant to thank the server and saw him and his buddies sitting at the bar. I walk in and he yells ‘GET YOURSELF A DRINK. It’s on the house and you can talk as much as you want to’. 🙂
Escape money…totally key.
That was a long story so I’ll save the other one for later. But it involves a Polish guy, Tom Leykis, and a $35 cab ride.