More bad relationship advice courtesy of MSN

The latest gem is an article on how to tame bad boys.

Here’s a secret…YOU CAN’T. 

He either changes on his own or he stays the way he is and nothing you say can make him change his mind.

Let’s see what MSN has to say.

(ok, not to be shallow but seriously, if you can’t tell that this is a have rocks in your head.  Why would you even go there?!)


Q: Can a woman ever win over a Bad Boy?

A: Bad Boys all have one thing in common: a need for “space.” His rigid boundaries ensure that you’ll remain far too distant for real intimacy to occur. As soon as he feels he’s being emotionally hemmed in, he’ll panic. This is one reason why these men prefer dating very young women; they know that most young girls aren’t ready for marriage and won’t pressure him much.

If in the extremely rare instance when a Bad Boy actually lets his guard down long enough to fall in love, know that he’ll be virtually tool-free when it comes to working out a real relationship. He’s often immature, petty, prone to jealousy, and then some! Frankly, in most cases, you’ll know that the relationship needs to end. It has to be you and you alone realizing this; it won’t come from all of your friends and family members continually reminding you how wrong he is for you. But when you figure it out and get over him, it’s the kind of experience that teaches you a lot of good lessons!

While I don’t find this advice particularly terrible, the title of the article implies that you can win over a Bad Boy and that simply isn’t the case.  My personal opinion?  Bad Boys are guys who are choosing to be emotionally shallow and guard themselves from real intimacy which could lead to actual hurt and a loss of pride.  Let’s be honest, we are all scared of intimacy sometimes and I know I’ve certainly gone through a Bad Girl phase where I was dating around, happy as a clam to have plenty of suitors but not really looking for a relationship.  Like a dear friend and notorious bachelor once said “I’ve had many lovers but no girlfriends”

But the key is, it’s a CHOICE and you CHOOSE when that phase of your life is over. 

If you’re a girl who’s attracted to bad boys and ends up perpetually hurt and wondering ‘Why me?!’…you’re choosing that.  I know I did.  I finally woke up to the fact that I was falling hard for guys that offered no real possibility of comittment because I was secretly afraid of comitting myself!  Crazy how those feedback loops work.

Do bad boys change?  Some do.  I would venture to guess that I met my boyfriend while both of us were in Bad phases.  He had jollies to get out and so did I.  But over time, a solid friendship grew and I knew that neither of us were really ‘Bad’ at heart.  We just had to ride it out. 

How can you tell if you should ride out the Bad-ness or let that fishy go because he’ll end up stiking? 

Look at his friends.  If he doesnt introduce you to any of his friends, there’s your answer right there.  Probably a tool.  But if you do meet his friends and they are all high testosterone bar-crawling skeeze balls, that’s also a sign that he’s probably a tool.   Like my great-grandma used to say “If you sleep with dogs, you’re going to get fleas”. 

On the other hand, if his friends are for the most part nice and sane and have their act together, there’s a good chance that your man candy is going through a phase and if there’s connection, it might be worth waiting it out (while still keeping yourself busy with other people of course!)



~ by fluvial on May 8, 2008.

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