The Single Girl To-do list
I usually try to keep this blog science/nerd related but sometimes I find things on the ‘softer’ side that I feel like I can’t help but share.
I’m addicted to MSN relationship advice. Not because it’s particularly useful but because it’s usually hilarious. But sometimes, I get miffed. Like…today! Take this lovely little link for example:
If there’s one thing you can count on from MSN relationship advice, it’s the promotion of gender sterotypes. Like:
“Want a cat? Heed this advice: Buy it now. Call it Snowflake. Let it sleep next to you in bed. If you wait to get a pet with your betrothed, it will end up being a big, slobbering Lab called Bif.”
You’ll get a slobbering Lab if you marry a guy who wants a slobbery lab and is unwilling to compromise if you don’t want the slobbery lab.
“Take your celeb crush to the max. Plaster a poster of Ryan Gosling in your hallway, and set your computer wallpaper to a topless shot of him.”
My man knows that I have a lusty heart for Christian Bale but there’s no way in hell I’d put pictures of him anywhere in my dwelling or on my technology. Honey, if you’re still at the stage of putting up Tiger Beat photos of celeb crushes, you probabaly need to graduate from the 8th grade before you even think about getting married. Just sayin’
“Plan your fantasy wedding. Now’s the time to let your imagination roam — rip pictures of dresses from magazines, size up ceremony venues, and try on some rocks at the jewelry store. This stuff wigs guys out if they witness it, so get it out of your system now.”
Three words: Cart. Before. Horse. The girls that I knew that did this (most in the sorority) became wedding crazed psychos with an inflated vision of both themselves and what they wanted their wedding to be like. Weddings should be about love and the merging of families not buying into what our society says about how it should be and how much you should spend. The less time you spend digging through bridal magazines, the better.
Here’s my revised list:
The 10 Things every Single Gal Should Do Before Tying the Knot
1. Travel – even if it’s taking road trips to another state with girlfriends..get the hell out of town and have some adventure.
2. Go the therapy. Seriously, you’ll feel better and your relationships with everyone will likely improve. It helped me!
3. Live on your own – this means paying your own bills, killing your own mice (in my case, it was chasing porcupines off my porch), etc.
4. Learn how to cook. It just feels nice knowing that you can make Christmas dinner for 15 if you have to.
5. Buy your own Kitchenaid Mixer. This goes along with #4 but I remember as a kid thinking that you had to wait to get married to get the classic ‘wedding presents’. Not so! I bought my own Kitchenaid for $80 on ebay. 🙂 (and now I can make 10 pounds of mashed ‘taters at a time!)
6. Be financially independent. It’s lame if you go from being dependent on your parents directly to being dependent on a husband.
7. Have a vague life plan. You can’t plan for love so you might as well plan as if it’ll be just you for a good long while. I look at my friend Erika who bought her own house and lived a very happy single life until she met a very handsome fellow named Kevin and her singledom disappeared. She got married at 36 and is kind of my career and life idol simply because she did everything on her own terms and her own way.
8. Cultivate a good circle of friends. Duh. Everyone needs platonic love. Go find some.
9. Take classes and learn things simply because you’re interested…not because you want to meet a guy. I guess there’s some logic behind taking classes in what Dr. Phil would call ‘target rich environments’ but really, it’s lame if you take a welding class because you think hotties will be there. Granted, I HAVE done some welding but it was with a female coworker and a friend of mine taught us. That being said, you should take a tango class if you feel like it..or maybe cooking! Or maybe a film class! God bless the UW Experimental College.
10. And finally, like my mother always told me, the world is a boy buffet and you need to sample all the entrees before you settle.
I totally disagree with MSN when they say that you’ll have to kill those little quirks that make you you when you get in a relationship. Honestly, if you’re with the right person, he’ll love at the most and tolerate at the very least all those little idiosyncratic things that make you the woman who makes him go gaga. Even if it is annoying things like getting too emotional sometimes and leaving water glasses all over the apartment. (sorry hon! :-))
But whatever path you choose, for pete’s sake, DO NOT PAINT YOUR APARTMENT PINK AND COVER IT WITH RYAN GOSLING POSTERS! That’s just crazy.